Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Tropic like it's hot.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
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