Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Avoid pier pressure.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Tropic like it's hot.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
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