Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
The ocean made me salty.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
Are you squiding me right now?
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
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