Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
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