Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
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