Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
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