Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Sea you at the beach.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
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