I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Feeling fintastic.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
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