What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Tropic like it's hot.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
I stopped my phones to the cloud, and I kept getting mist calls.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
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