My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
I can sea clearly now.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Beach you to it.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
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