The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Tis the sea-sun.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
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