I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
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