How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
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