Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
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