When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
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