What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Go to BabaMail
