Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Water you doing?
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
I can sea clearly now.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Salty but sweet.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
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