What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Are you squiding me right now?
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
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