Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Rainbows are very uncommon, they are blue and far between.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Girls just wanna have sun.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
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