I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
I stopped my phones to the cloud, and I kept getting mist calls.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Feeling fintastic.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
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