Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
I tried to make it to the end of the rainbow but didn't due to lilac of effort.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
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