Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Tropic like it's hot.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
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