The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Seas the day.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
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