Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Tis the sea-sun.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Go to BabaMail
