How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
Whale, hello there.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
Beach, please.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
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