While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
The ocean made me salty.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Rivers are...
the original streaming service.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
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