The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Avoid pier pressure.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
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