Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Rivers are...
the original streaming service.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
I stopped my phones to the cloud, and I kept getting mist calls.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
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