Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
Please excuse my resting beach face.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
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