Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
I can sea clearly now.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
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