Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
Feeling fintastic.
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