What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
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