What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
Sea you at the beach.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
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