What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
The ocean made me salty.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
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