What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Go to BabaMail
