THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
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