What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
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