What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
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