What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
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