What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
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