What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
Witch you were here.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
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