Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
Come witch me to the party.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
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