Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
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