Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
Come witch me to the party.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
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