The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
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