Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
Come witch me to the party.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
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