When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
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