This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
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