You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
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