What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
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