What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
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