What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Werewolves love their fast food.
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
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