When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
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