Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
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