How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Come witch me to the party.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Werewolves love their fast food.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
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