Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
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