The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
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