Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”