My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
The superconductor left without resistance.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
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