The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
The sun is just a big space heater.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
Go to BabaMail
