What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
The superconductor left without resistance.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Go to BabaMail
