Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
The sun is just a big space heater.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
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