Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
The superconductor left without resistance.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
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