Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
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