My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
The superconductor left without resistance.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
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