If you want it dirty and fast... You've come to the right place. We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more! Everything funny with a wink is right here.

Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off? Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock.
How did you get a fat chick into bed? A Piece of Cake.
Why did God create orgasms? So women can moan even when they're happy
What's the difference between the first honeymoon and the second?
First honeymoon, Niagara. Second honeymoon, Viagra.
There once was a man from Iraq
Who had holes down the length of his c**k
When he got an erection
It'd play a selection
From Johann Sebastian Bach.
There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in his canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up covered in goo.
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having se*? A. Call her and tell her.
Why did Tigger look in the toilet? Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
How do you get a blonde off of her knees? Cum.
Did you hear about the celebrity murderer? He was shooting for the stars.
A lad and a lass from Aberystwyth
United the lips that they kystwyth.
But as they grew older,
They also grew bolder,
And played with the things that they pystwyth.
What do you call balls on your chin? A d*ck in your mouth.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "I'll see you next month."
There once was a lady from Decatur
Who got laid by a large alligator.
But nobody knew
The result of that screw
Because after he laid her, he ate her.
Why do men like big tits and a tight as*? Because they've got big mouths and little di**s.
there once was a man from Nantucket
with a d**k so long he could suck it
he said with a grin
as he licked off his chin
"if my ear was a c**t I would f**k it."
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't? Her navel.
Why is 88 better than 69? Because you get eight twice.
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? a PDF File.
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pu**y say "stop." Girl: But mom, he touched both, so I said "don't stop."
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
It sucks to be a penis because your roommates are nuts, your neighbor is an as*hole, your best friend is a pu**y, and your owner strangles you every night until you throw up.
What's the worst thing about dating a blond? If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they.
How do you bring a man back from the dead? You suck on his di** until he cums back.
What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common? They are both fun to ride till a friend sees you on them.
Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas? He can't find the zipper.
A son says to his mother one day, “Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I’m still a virgin.”
His mother replied, “Well, start giving them bad grades and they’ll stop.”
Whats the difference between the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader? They both suck for four quarters.
“It’s a boy!” I shouted, with tears rolling down my face. “It’s a boy! I don’t believe it!”
And it was at that point that I resolved never to visit Thailand again.