Dirty One LinersJoke Generator

If you want it dirty and fast... You've come to the right place. We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more! Everything funny with a wink is right here.

Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off? Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock.
What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was "The Wall"
What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate? A liar.
Why did God create orgasms? So women can moan even when they're happy
As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?"
"Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have se* from the rear?"
"Partly." She said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in front of me, bent over, and shouted, 'YOUR TURN.'"
What's the difference between the first honeymoon and the second?
First honeymoon, Niagara. Second honeymoon, Viagra.
There once was maid name of Olga,
whoes resume read rather vulga
the things she could do,
from basement to flue,
without ever letting go of ya
There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in his canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up covered in goo.
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having se*? A. Call her and tell her.
Do you know what the square root of 69 is? Ate something.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
How do you get a blonde off of her knees? Cum.
Did you hear about the celebrity murderer? He was shooting for the stars.
What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "I'll see you next month."
There once was a lady from Decatur
Who got laid by a large alligator.
But nobody knew
The result of that screw
Because after he laid her, he ate her.
Why do men like big tits and a tight as*? Because they've got big mouths and little di**s.
What's worse than finding a Justin Bieber CD in your boyfriend's bedroom? Finding a box of tissues next to it.
There was a young lady from Brighton
Who had an incredibly tight 'un
"Heavens Above!
It fits like a glove"
"Oh! you ain't put it in the right 'un!"
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't? Her navel.
Why is 88 better than 69? Because you get eight twice.
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? a PDF File.
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pu**y say "stop." Girl: But mom, he touched both, so I said "don't stop."
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
It sucks to be a penis because your roommates are nuts, your neighbor is an as*hole, your best friend is a pu**y, and your owner strangles you every night until you throw up.
What's the worst thing about dating a blond? If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they.
How do you bring a man back from the dead? You suck on his di** until he cums back.
Dad: I heard that you got punished for saying the F-word in class. That wasn’t fun, was it?
Son: No, it was F*ck.
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas? He can't find the zipper.
A son says to his mother one day, “Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I’m still a virgin.”
His mother replied, “Well, start giving them bad grades and they’ll stop.”
If the world is a Jacket where do poor people live? In the hood.
Whats the difference between the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader? They both suck for four quarters.
“It’s a boy!” I shouted, with tears rolling down my face. “It’s a boy! I don’t believe it!”
And it was at that point that I resolved never to visit Thailand again.
How did you get a fat chick into bed? A Piece of Cake.
Whats long, Hard and Erects stuff? A Crane.
Whats 10 Blocks Long and has never had se*? The line for the new Call of Duty game.
How do you keep a French person from crashing your party? Put a sign up that says "no nudity" How do you get tickets to the Tampon 100? Pull some strings.
Why can't the post office put Charlie Sheen on a stamp?
Everyone would be afraid to lick it.
How do you know if you have an overbite? If you're eating pu**y and it tastes like sh*t.
What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your di** is hanging out.
Young Micharlangelo Matos
Has relations with unripe tomatoes.
Grinning, he flirts
"Sure the insertion hurts
But they're cleaner than uncooked potatoes."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korean long-range missiles can't go that far.
What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynecologist looks up your family bush.
There are three stages of lovemaking after marriage:

Tri-weekly.
Try weekly.
Try weakly.
You may think these limericks are crass
and throw me a comment to sass
but I will agree
to some degree
and I’ll still show you the crack of my ass
What's 6 inches long and starts with a p? A sh*t (think about it)
A woman arrived at a party.
While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone.
She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen."
"That’s a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore I chose 'Carmen'"
"What’s your name?” she asked.
He answered "B. J. Titsengolf."
What does a balloon and a virgin have in common? One prick and their done.
How many guys can participate in a gang bang before it's gay?
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