If you want it dirty and fast... You've come to the right place. We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more! Everything funny with a wink is right here.

Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off? Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock.
What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was "The Wall"
What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate? A liar.
Why did God create orgasms? So women can moan even when they're happy
As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?"
"Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have se* from the rear?"
"Partly." She said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in front of me, bent over, and shouted, 'YOUR TURN.'"
What's the difference between the first honeymoon and the second?
First honeymoon, Niagara. Second honeymoon, Viagra.
There once was a man from Iraq
Who had holes down the length of his c**k
When he got an erection
It'd play a selection
From Johann Sebastian Bach.
There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in his canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up covered in goo.
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having se*? A. Call her and tell her.
Do you know what the square root of 69 is? Ate something.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
How do you get a blonde off of her knees? Cum.
Did you hear about the celebrity murderer? He was shooting for the stars.
What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "I'll see you next month."
There once was a lady from Decatur
Who got laid by a large alligator.
But nobody knew
The result of that screw
Because after he laid her, he ate her.
Why do men like big tits and a tight as*? Because they've got big mouths and little di**s.
What's worse than finding a Justin Bieber CD in your boyfriend's bedroom? Finding a box of tissues next to it.
There was a young lady from Brighton
Who had an incredibly tight 'un
"Heavens Above!
It fits like a glove"
"Oh! you ain't put it in the right 'un!"
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't? Her navel.
Why is 88 better than 69? Because you get eight twice.
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? a PDF File.
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pu**y say "stop." Girl: But mom, he touched both, so I said "don't stop."
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
It sucks to be a penis because your roommates are nuts, your neighbor is an as*hole, your best friend is a pu**y, and your owner strangles you every night until you throw up.
What's the worst thing about dating a blond? If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they.
How do you bring a man back from the dead? You suck on his di** until he cums back.
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas? He can't find the zipper.
A son says to his mother one day, “Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I’m still a virgin.”
His mother replied, “Well, start giving them bad grades and they’ll stop.”