Wives

Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives.
The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have a garage door."
The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn't have any earphones."
The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a d**k."
I know why Solomon had 600 wives, because he never found you.
Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives.
Because he never met you.