Math Jokes

Did you hear about the math professor who was afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
The Genius Student Tommy was sitting in math class when suddenly his teacher asked him “Tommy, How much is 2 + 2?” Tommy, caught off guard, begins counting his fingers under the table mumbling to himself: “1…2…3…4,” before happily exclaiming “The answer is four!” “That’s correct,” answered his teacher, “but I saw you counting your fingers instead of doing the math in your head. So I want you to put your hands behind your back and tell me what do you get if you add 3 + 3?” Tommy put his hands behind his back, but his teacher saw that he was still moving uncomfortably as if he were trying to count fingers. After a few moments he said uncertainly, "is the answer six?" "You are correct," she replied, "but I see you're still counting fingers despite me asking you not to! Put your hands in your pant pockets and tell me what you get if you add 5 + 5." Tommy put his hands in his pants and his teacher saw him looking at his pants and moving his lips without uttering a word. Finally the teacher became impatient and said: "I see what you're doing there and I can tell you right now that the answer is not eleven!"
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
Why did the Math teacher get a divorce?
He substituted his wife for an ex.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
Struggle with your Children's Math homework?
Apparently it's quite common in five out of every four homes.
“Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math.”

- Amber Dusick.
If I had a nickel for every time I failed a math test, I'd have 83 cents.
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
If I had 5 dollars for every math test I have ever failed then I would have 37 dollars.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
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