Students Jokes

What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Little Johnny and the Psychology Question A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren't paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, "Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
Little Johnny and the Name of the Lord A Sunday School teacher decided to quiz her students about what they learned that year. Sunday School Teacher: "Okay class... who can tell me what are some different names used when talking about God?" Little Johnny: "Hallowed!" Sunday School Teacher: "Hallowed? How did you get that as an answer?" Little Johnny: "It’s in the Lord’s Prayer: Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name..."
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher that got killed by her students?
She couldn’t control her pupils.
The art teacher encourages her students to move in the light direction.
The high school music teacher was controversial for having his students read band books.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
An Important Lesson First year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered in a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine,it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." The Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students initially freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anus of the corpse and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at the class and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger but sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention!"
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