Presents

Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
A husband reels off a list of presents he suggests buying his wife for her birthday.

She rejects them all.

“Well you tell me what you want then.”

“I want a divorce.” she replies.

“I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”