Presents Jokes

Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
“If you’re lucky this Christmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.”
Your presents is requested.
The Obsessive Counter It was Christmas morning and an old man was enjoying opening presents with his family but every time he opens a present, he checks to be sure that everything is there… “Great, 4 steak knives. 1, 2, 3 and 4!” “A dozen wrenches? Brilliant! 1, 2, 3, 4….10, 11 and 12! “Four wine glasses, neat. 1, 2, 3 and one more makes 4.” This continues on for some time and his family is growing increasingly annoyed with him. Yet he continues on. “Fifty fishing lures, oh my. 1, 2, 3, 4…” "Oh for father's sake, Adam," his wife suddenly yelled at him: "It was ONE rib, let is go!"
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.
A husband reels off a list of presents he suggests buying his wife for her birthday.

She rejects them all.

“Well you tell me what you want then.”

“I want a divorce.” she replies.

“I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
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