Presents Jokes

“If you’re lucky this Christmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.”
Your presents is requested.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.
A husband reels off a list of presents he suggests buying his wife for her birthday.

She rejects them all.

“Well you tell me what you want then.”

“I want a divorce.” she replies.

“I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.
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