Presents

“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.
A husband reels off a list of presents he suggests buying his wife for her birthday.

She rejects them all.

“Well you tell me what you want then.”

“I want a divorce.” she replies.

“I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.