What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
The Valentine's Day Gift
The Valentine's Day Gift It was a few days before Valentine's Day and a young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you think it means?" Her husband smiled. "Oh, I have a feeling you'll know later tonight." he said with a wink. His wife squealed with joy. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it... only to find a book titled "The meaning of dreams."
I had this crazy dream where I was virtually weightless
I was like 0mg
A Priest and Nun On the Road
A Priest and Nun On the Road A priest and a nun are on a trip to a faraway monastery when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere as a blizzard rages above them. They find a deserted cabin and take shelter. They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets. The priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself. As they get tucked in for the night, the nun calls out, "father, father, I'm cold!" so the priest gets up and puts another blanket on the nun. "is that better, sister?" he asks. "yes father, much better," she replies. So he gets back in his sleeping bag and starts to nod off when she again calls out with "father, I'm still cold!" so once again, the priest gets up and puts another blanket on her, ensuring she is tucked into the bed well. "Is that better, sister?" he asks. "Oh yes, father, that's much better," she says. So the priest gets himself back into the sleeping bag, and this time is just starting to dream when he wakes up to her call of "Father, father, I'm just so cold!" The priest thinks long about this and finally says, "Sister, we are in the middle of nowhere in a blizzard. No one but you, myself, and the Lord himself will ever know what happens here this night. How about, just for this night, we act as though we were married?" The nun thinks on this for a minute. She can't help but admit to herself she's been curious, and finally answers with a tentative "OK, father, just for tonight, we will act as though we are married." "Wonderful." The father replies, "Now get up and get your own darn blanket, you great lazy lump!"
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Last night I dreamed that my town’s water tower exploded.
It was a wet dream.
There once was a man from Peru.
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night.
With a terrible fright.
To find out his dream had come true!
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What a pun's dream job?
To be an acu-pun-cturist!
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
Why did the blonde take a camera to bed? To record what she was going to dream that night.
Last night, I had a dream that I was a muffler.
I woke up exhausted.