Crazy

You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
"You bake me crazy."
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
How do you drive a man crazy? A. Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
Mickey Mouse at Court
Mickey Mouse at Court Mickey and Minnie Mouse were at court for divorce proceedings. The judge told Mickey, "Look here Mickey Mouse, I can't grant you a divorce from Minnie!"  Mickey Mouse was stunned and asked, "Why not???"  The Judge said, "I've reviewed all the information you gave to the court, but I can't find any evidence at all to support the grounds that she is crazy!"  Mickey Mouse says, "Your Honor! I didn't say she was CRAZY, I said she was f**ing Goofy!"
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
There once was a girl named Sue.
She came down with the case of the flu.
She let out a sigh,
"My temperature is high,
what ever shall I do?
Oh my! Oh my!
I think I will die.
What ever shall I do?"

So, she stumbled out of bed.
"I know I'll take some meds.
If this the flu,
I take an aspirin or two.
Then I'll drink some broth and some juice.
Oh my! Oh my!"
she began to cry.
"I think this is acute."

So, she grumbled back to bed
and pulled the covers over her head.
She let out a sneeze,
a cough and a wheeze.
"Won't someone help me, please?
Oh my! Oh my!
Will I survive
the case of the crazy flu?"

So, she finally fell asleep.
She slept and slept for a week.
She tossed and turned,
her symptoms have passed.
Her temperature normal at last.
"Oh my! Oh my!
I think I survived
this case of the crazy flu."
This Isolation is Making Some People Crazy...
This Isolation is Making Some People Crazy... I've heard some people are really going crazy from isolation. I'm glad I'm not one of those. I’ve just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad. I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. The sink just said everything is going down the drain. In the end the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine, the situation isn’t that pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic. Told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and felt it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and it didn’t say anything, but the door knob told me to get a grip. The front door said I was unhinged and then.. The curtains told me to pull myself together!
What will you call a crazy spaceman? An astronaut.
I had this crazy dream where I was virtually weightless
I was like 0mg
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
A lunatic.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!