Married

Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
A Mother Explains
A Mother Explains A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?" The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and make love.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his thing in the mommy’s thing. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s thing in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, dear. Jewelry.”
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
Make love, not war.
Or if you want to do both – get married!
I can remember where I got married.
I can remember when I got married.
I just can’t remember why.
It’s been a few years since the invisible man married the invisible woman.
Their kids are nothing to look at.
Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil? She finally found Mr. Write.
Two florists recently got married.
It was an arranged marriage.
The 13 Funniest Things Said During a Colonoscopy
The 13 Funniest Things Said During a Colonoscopy 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!' 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?' 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?' 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?' 5. 'You know, in Turkey, we're now legally married.' 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?' 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...' 8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!' 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!' 10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.' 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?' 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.' And the best one of all: 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'
What do moon people do after they get married?What do moon people do after they get married?

Go on their honeyearth.
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t.
There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
Whose daughter was christened Euphemia,
Till one day, to his grief,
She married a thief,
Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.
Any proof that Saturn married more than once? Well, he do has a lot of rings.
My husband said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before."
So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.