Jackass Jokes

The Barman and the Jackass I was sitting at a bar when a man walked in. The bartender pointed at the seat next to me and said “Hey Jackass! Sit here.” The man sat down. Then the bartender asked, “What do you want to drink, Jackass?” The man ordered a beer. A little later, the bartender yelled, “Hey Jackass! You want a menu?” The man said “No.” After a few more beers, the bartender said, “Hey Jackass! That will be $24.50.” The man paid and started to get up. I stopped him and asked, “Why does he keep calling you Jackass?” The man looked at me, smiled and said, “ Oh… Hee.. Haw.. Hee.. Haw.. Hee.. Halways calls me that.”
The Genie, the Jackass and the Honeycomb A little person brings in a jackass and a honeycomb into a little hotel. The manager asked, "what can we do for you?" He said, "I need a room, as my wife threw me out." The manager asked "That's sad. Whatever for? And, excuse my curiosity, why do you have a jackass and a honeycomb?" "Well," the little guy answered, "my woman stumbled upon a genie in a bottle, and he granted her 3 wishes. The first was to have the nicest ass in the land, so he gave her this jackass. Her second wish was for a 'house fit for a queen', so he gave her this beehive." The manager asked, "And what of the third wish?" "For her third wish, my woman asked the genie to make my penis hang down past my knee." "Well, that one's not so bad!" the manager exclaimed. "'Not so bad!?', he replied, "I used to be 6 feet tall!"
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?
A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
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