What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
You’re my heartthrob.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He’s finding it hard to deal with.
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
"Some people have no guts."
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?
A Cairo-practor.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
A quarterback.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do Mexicans wear on their heads in the pool?
Swimbreros.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
I went skiing with broken bones.
I can't afford real skis.
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
A person without arms and a knife in their mouth is still technically armed,
but only to the teeth.
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
What do you call it when a pillow hits its head?
A concushion.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
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