I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
How heavy are your bones?
They are scale-a-ton.
"Lazy bones."
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
I punched my monitor and now my hand really hertz.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
How do a group of skeletons drive to work?
In the carpal lane.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
"Bugs and hisses."
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.
He goes up to the bartender and says "A drink please and another for the road."
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
Why couldn't the skeleton get a date to the dance?
He doesn't have the heart to ask anyone out.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
What do you call it when a pillow hits its head?
A concushion.
Girlfriend was working on the motorcycle with me the other day...
She exclaimed "God! This is ridiculous. I need, like, four arms to do this!".
To which I replied "but honey, you DO have forearms!"
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Well, that back fired.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
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