What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He’s finding it hard to deal with.
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?
Your spine.
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
The Genie granted my wish for longer arms, but he warned me My wish would have far reaching consequences.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
What do you call a fake bone?
A faux-knee.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.
He goes up to the bartender and says "A drink please and another for the road."
How do a group of skeletons drive to work?
In the carpal lane.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
The sound of my bones really cracks me up.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."
"Some parts are missing."
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
Go to BabaMail
