Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why didn’t one skeleton want to look at the other skeleton?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Someone said, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
So I through a dictionary at them.
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
Girlfriend was working on the motorcycle with me the other day...
She exclaimed "God! This is ridiculous. I need, like, four arms to do this!".
To which I replied "but honey, you DO have forearms!"
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
"Some people have no guts."
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
I went skiing with broken bones.
I can't afford real skis.
Did you hear about the man who had nothing else to do so drilled into his own head?
He was bored to death.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do you call a group of arms?
An army.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
Why did the skeleton go to the daycare?
To get his Kidneys.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
What do skeletons put in their photocopiers?
Skeletoner
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Go to BabaMail
