What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?
Your spine.
Just been to the funeral of a close friend who died when he was hit in the head by a tennis ball
Great service.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
Why did the T-Rex only sell hand-guns?
He was a small-arms dealer.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
How do you greet a skeleton in france?
"Bonejour."
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
What do you call a fake bone?
A faux-knee.
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
Someone said, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
So I through a dictionary at them.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
I'm glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms.
Otherwise, I'd have been amputated at birth.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them
Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.
He goes up to the bartender and says "A drink please and another for the road."
I have a heart-on for you.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?
IHOP.
Go to BabaMail
