I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
I have a heart-on for you.
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them
Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
A person without arms and a knife in their mouth is still technically armed,
but only to the teeth.
What is a skeletons favorite meal?
Anything with Ribs.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
What did the police officer say to the hand?
Stop! You are under a wrist!
The Genie granted my wish for longer arms, but he warned me My wish would have far reaching consequences.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Girlfriend was working on the motorcycle with me the other day...
She exclaimed "God! This is ridiculous. I need, like, four arms to do this!".
To which I replied "but honey, you DO have forearms!"
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
How heavy are your bones?
They are scale-a-ton.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
You’re my heartthrob.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
What do skeletons put in their photocopiers?
Skeletoner
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
Where do skeletons go hang out at night?
Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
Go to BabaMail
