Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What do you call it when a skeleton is having a great time?
An osteoblast.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
"Lazy bones."
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms resting on a porch?
Matt.
So a man walked up to me and placed some soil, plant seeds and fertilizer on my head.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient's spine.
I think I struck a nerve.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
Started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Wrist”
I’m hooked.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
I punched my monitor and now my hand really hertz.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Saw my dad outside with a tv antenna on his head
When I asked him why, he said he was trying to get more in tune with nature.
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Well, that back fired.
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
Go to BabaMail
