What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
I can heartly wait to see you again.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
"Lazy bones."
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
I lost my memory after getting hit on the head by a boomerang.
It's all coming back to me now.
Why didn’t one skeleton want to look at the other skeleton?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
Started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Wrist”
I’m hooked.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
A quick pick-me-up.
While browsing the bookshop, I stuck a sheet of A4 paper to my wife's spine.
She said she wanted a paperback for her birthday.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
Why did the skeleton go to the daycare?
To get his Kidneys.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Where do skeletons go hang out at night?
Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
When I was young, my dad used to throw quarters at my head whenever I acted up.
He said, “Maybe this’ll knock some scents into you.”
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
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