What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
The sound of my bones really cracks me up.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
A fly fell down out of nowhere on my wrist
It died on my watch.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Wrist”
I’m hooked.
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
How do a group of skeletons drive to work?
In the carpal lane.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Midwife (handing me the baby): "Make sure you’re supporting his head."
Me: "That’s a great head you have there, Well done!"
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Well, that back fired.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
What happens when you shatter your funny bone?
You crack up.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
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