How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
"Bone to be wild."
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
pan o man.
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
Where do skeletons go hang out at night?
Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
Why are bones so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
I bring my knees to my head and lean forwards.
That's just how I roll.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day. She said "Wow that's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand!"
I said "Come on you're just pulling my leg."
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