What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
A quarterback.
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
"Bugs and hisses."
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t.
Why do skeletons never move?
Because they have too much Skelatonin.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day. She said "Wow that's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand!"
I said "Come on you're just pulling my leg."
What did the doctor tell the skeleton who wanted to donate his body to science?
Spine on the dotted line.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
What did the police officer say to the hand?
Stop! You are under a wrist!
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
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